I have had no sugar today and I'm starting to twitch. I went for a brisk 3km walk this morning (baby steps to the running goal) so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.
Today was a difficult day... hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Time For a Change
I've decided to set myself a challenge... I'm going to give up sugar.
I know that for some people this might seem like a pussy challenge, but that's fine.
I'm doing this for me. Before my family stages an intervention.
I read in a magazine that excess amounts of refined sugar cause brain function changes similar to those of cocaine addicts. Hectic.
It started out innocently enough but it's getting out of hand. And being of the addictive personality type I have enough self knowledge to know that I need to replace one addiction for another, so... I'm going to start running, apparently once you get hooked it's amazing and I'll be my ass it's a more constructive way to shift the baby kilos than sitting on my backside eating jellybeans.
Wish me luck!
I know that for some people this might seem like a pussy challenge, but that's fine.
I'm doing this for me. Before my family stages an intervention.
I read in a magazine that excess amounts of refined sugar cause brain function changes similar to those of cocaine addicts. Hectic.
It started out innocently enough but it's getting out of hand. And being of the addictive personality type I have enough self knowledge to know that I need to replace one addiction for another, so... I'm going to start running, apparently once you get hooked it's amazing and I'll be my ass it's a more constructive way to shift the baby kilos than sitting on my backside eating jellybeans.
Wish me luck!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Poor Mommy
Aunty Jakoe needs a drink.
It's been a long week and I just feel the need to get pissed, go dancing and do something a little bit Crayyzeee!
But I wont... because I'm under "appropriate mommy behaviour watch" by my 4yr old son. And let me tell you its Fan-fucking-tastic!
He follows me around: "Mommies aren't supposed to drink BEER!", "Mommies are supposed to pack lunches not Linda! (the nanny)", "Mommies don't shower, Mommies must bath!"
Poor mommy - it was so much easier when he was littler and he'd go to sleep at 6... now he stays up until 7:30, so I can't even watch Dr 90210 reruns on E! anymore because apparently it's not appropriate for 4yr olds (whatever! all Dr Rey really does is reverse the damage done by pregnancy and breastfeeding - shouldn't the little perpetrator be aware of his crime? Hell I should make him pay for my tummy tuck out of his varsity fund) - sorry, I get carried away.
So, anyhoo, no evening of drunken debauchery for Jakoe, just a spritzer with Mr Jakoe and Project Runway... suppose it could be worse...
Disclaimer:
The author of this post really does love her children and is only venting, she will not actually make them pay for any cosmetic procedures or force them to watch Dr 90210.
So please don't phone childline... k?
It's been a long week and I just feel the need to get pissed, go dancing and do something a little bit Crayyzeee!
But I wont... because I'm under "appropriate mommy behaviour watch" by my 4yr old son. And let me tell you its Fan-fucking-tastic!
He follows me around: "Mommies aren't supposed to drink BEER!", "Mommies are supposed to pack lunches not Linda! (the nanny)", "Mommies don't shower, Mommies must bath!"
Poor mommy - it was so much easier when he was littler and he'd go to sleep at 6... now he stays up until 7:30, so I can't even watch Dr 90210 reruns on E! anymore because apparently it's not appropriate for 4yr olds (whatever! all Dr Rey really does is reverse the damage done by pregnancy and breastfeeding - shouldn't the little perpetrator be aware of his crime? Hell I should make him pay for my tummy tuck out of his varsity fund) - sorry, I get carried away.
So, anyhoo, no evening of drunken debauchery for Jakoe, just a spritzer with Mr Jakoe and Project Runway... suppose it could be worse...
Disclaimer:
The author of this post really does love her children and is only venting, she will not actually make them pay for any cosmetic procedures or force them to watch Dr 90210.
So please don't phone childline... k?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Easter Insanity
I went shopping for Easter eggs this morning - what a nightmare. I saw a 5 year old throwing a tantrum because it's mother wouldn't buy it a Barbie Easter egg with matching Barbie toy Ferrari for R150. What the hell happened to the Easter bunny??
When Aunty Jakoe was little we were lucky to get those marshmallow jobs and a couple of small Beacon hollows. Nowadays one is made to feel like an inadequate parent if you don't spend at least the equivalent of the National Debt on chocolate. It's insane!!!!!!!
And the Grannies!! They each go shopping like they are certain that no one is going to get the poor little lambs a scrap except for them, so the kids end up with their body weight in chocolate and who's left cleaning up the vomit? Mommy!!
Maybe we should all boycott the Beacon and Lindt and Cadbury madness and go back to basics - I can just see it - little Johnny wakes up gleefully on Easter morning and runs into the garden to fill his basket with..... Fresh produce!! Carrots and broccoli and apples etc (organic of course) he then brings his loot back to mummy who lovingly prepares it for him with a healthy yogurt dip. *Sigh*.
Not to mention the religious significance that has been completely forgotten, I actually saw two teenagers in Woolies arguing about why there's a cross on Hot Cross buns. I mean seriously - Are. You. Shitting. Me. What the fuck do they teach at schools??
I really do feel the need to educate my kids about the religious aspect of Easter but how to relay the crucifixion in a non-violent, non-nightmare inducing way?? Unfortunately "Jesus wore a spiky hat and had a nap on a piece of wood" is nothing short of wrong.
Sometimes hubby laughs at my extremist pacifist approach to bible education but I stand firm - some bible stories are just too scary for a 3yr old.
Hopefully next year the global economy will be healthier and then I'll buy my kids shares and hide those in the garden.
When Aunty Jakoe was little we were lucky to get those marshmallow jobs and a couple of small Beacon hollows. Nowadays one is made to feel like an inadequate parent if you don't spend at least the equivalent of the National Debt on chocolate. It's insane!!!!!!!
And the Grannies!! They each go shopping like they are certain that no one is going to get the poor little lambs a scrap except for them, so the kids end up with their body weight in chocolate and who's left cleaning up the vomit? Mommy!!
Maybe we should all boycott the Beacon and Lindt and Cadbury madness and go back to basics - I can just see it - little Johnny wakes up gleefully on Easter morning and runs into the garden to fill his basket with..... Fresh produce!! Carrots and broccoli and apples etc (organic of course) he then brings his loot back to mummy who lovingly prepares it for him with a healthy yogurt dip. *Sigh*.
Not to mention the religious significance that has been completely forgotten, I actually saw two teenagers in Woolies arguing about why there's a cross on Hot Cross buns. I mean seriously - Are. You. Shitting. Me. What the fuck do they teach at schools??
I really do feel the need to educate my kids about the religious aspect of Easter but how to relay the crucifixion in a non-violent, non-nightmare inducing way?? Unfortunately "Jesus wore a spiky hat and had a nap on a piece of wood" is nothing short of wrong.
Sometimes hubby laughs at my extremist pacifist approach to bible education but I stand firm - some bible stories are just too scary for a 3yr old.
Hopefully next year the global economy will be healthier and then I'll buy my kids shares and hide those in the garden.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
When I grow up I want to be just like Janice Dickenson
So Josh is on holiday for Easter... I can clearly remember the excitement and feeling of endless possibilty when I was a child but I have no recolection of my mother being as depressed about school holidays as I am right now. It's hell.
Maybe if I didn't work from home and I could escape to an air conditioned office to interact with interesting people for 8 or so hours I'd feel differently, I dunno.
The more I think about it the more I think Janice Dickinson has the right idea, she raised her kids and now that they're at the perfect age to appreciate it she gets her revenge - she must be such a supreme embarrassment to her kids - ahhh, my idol.
Makes sense tho, the little shits spend a good few years embarrassing us (case in point - I take Josh with me to the Hypermarket, he insists on dressing himself - too small shorts, dirty tee shirt, no shoes and a beanie, as well as a plastic muffin pan) why not make it the mission of our 40's to make them miserable, at least they'll never look back and say "Hmm Mom was nice, bit dull tho" no not if you ended up married to their Biology teacher...
Maybe if I didn't work from home and I could escape to an air conditioned office to interact with interesting people for 8 or so hours I'd feel differently, I dunno.
The more I think about it the more I think Janice Dickinson has the right idea, she raised her kids and now that they're at the perfect age to appreciate it she gets her revenge - she must be such a supreme embarrassment to her kids - ahhh, my idol.
Makes sense tho, the little shits spend a good few years embarrassing us (case in point - I take Josh with me to the Hypermarket, he insists on dressing himself - too small shorts, dirty tee shirt, no shoes and a beanie, as well as a plastic muffin pan) why not make it the mission of our 40's to make them miserable, at least they'll never look back and say "Hmm Mom was nice, bit dull tho" no not if you ended up married to their Biology teacher...
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